Huffington Post Blog: On Not ‘Ruining Christmas’

Yesterday, I was pleased to know that The Huffington Post published my article.

The piece, “On Not ‘Ruining Christmas’,” talks about recent conversations I’ve had about my husband and my decision to not teach the Santa Claus myth in our home. We’ve chosen instead to focus on the reason for the season – celebrating the birth of Jesus.

Well, as you might imagine, the dialogues grew quite heated, with some parents going as far as urging me not to “ruin” Christmas for those who believe.

You can read the piece on The Huffington Post (along with my other post on Millennials and faith) or below. I welcome your thoughts and feedback!

Thank you!

On Not ‘Ruining Christmas

My daughters came home a few weeks ago and asked the question my husband and I knew was coming but never wanted to hear.

“Is Santa Claus real, Mommy?”

I’ll admit that the first time my five-year-old popped the question last month, I panicked and deflected, “Oh, why do you ask, baby?”

“My friend at school said he is.”

Moments later I spat out, “Ooh, listen! Our favorite song is on the radio.”

The reprieve was short-lived. A few (short!) weeks later my younger daughter, three-years-old and every bit of a precocious middle child, blurted out on our way home from school one day, “Mommy, Santa isn’t real.”

I’d like to say that this time I was ready, that I had a well-thought-out response. The truth was very different.

Although my parents allowed my three siblings and me to believe in Santa Claus, my husband and I decided before we had children that we would not support the Santa story in our home.

Instead, we decided that we’d teach our little ones the truth of our faith: Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus, God’s son and the best gift any of us could and have ever received.

We decided that we’d tell them that in the spirit of celebrating God’s gift to us, God blesses us to buy gifts for those we care for in a symbolic expression of love.

We opted not to tell our children that Santa was not real… we just focused on what was more important to us — the story of Jesus’ birth and why it remains such an important gift.

But, as beads of sweat peppered my brow in the silence that followed my daughters’ statements, was that all of the planning in the world quickly falls by the wayside when tested by the persistent, inquisitive questioning of children.

In the days that followed, I took to Facebook to poll my mommy friends, motivated by one fear-inducing thought. I don’t want my kids to be those kids.

As you might imagine, the feedback I got on Facebook was mixed. There were many parents in my boat — “We aren’t promoting the ‘man down the chimney’ myth either,” one father responded.

But I also got a number of “passionate,” (read: angry and snarky) responses from other parents instructing me to “fix it” so that my kid didn’t “ruin Christmas for everyone.”

I was struck by that term, “ruin Christmas.”

How could I “ruin” a holiday established to celebrate the birth of Jesus by teaching my children that — gasp — the purpose of the holiday is to celebrate Jesus?

Sure, I understood what they meant, but I simultaneously felt bullied in a way I hadn’t expected. I somehow had to go along with this myth to protect the practices and beliefs of other families while de-prioritizing the beliefs my husband and I were endeavoring to instill in our own.

How is that fair?

The answer is that it isn’t. People of faith the world over are daily grappling with how to both walk boldly in the divine confidence of who our Creator has purposed us to be and to not make others uncomfortable. It is a tightrope one never quite masters but never quite quits either.

So while my husband and I stuck to our script, we added there are also families that celebrate the spirit of Saint Nicholas, a man who lived many years ago and gave gifts to orphans during this same time of year.

And we closed by saying that, ultimately, we are all believing the same thing: it is a much greater blessing to give and love on others than it is to receive.

My husband and I realize that “Santa” is inescapable (He knows when we are sleeping for goodness sake!). But we are undeterred, perhaps like Joseph who walked countless miles looking for a room for his pregnant wife to stay in and birth the Savior of all people.

We’ll keep affirming our family truth fully expecting that our perseverance will birth great faith and a different — yet equally beautiful — type of wonderment in our children.

Just like the birth of baby Jesus has continued to do for generations.

We’ve chosen to stay on our tight rope and, we respect everyone else who walks the other.

In doing so we, I suppose, are giving a gift of understanding in a season where an appreciation for our fellow man is all that really matters.

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More Than Thankful

Last week was Thanksgiving and it was a wonderful time.

Surrounded by friends, family – immediate, extended and distant – I was swathed in visual reminders of just how blessed I am.

But I find that today, a full week after the food, festivities and fellowship have ended, I am still meditating on this theme of being thankful.

As I drove to Thanksgiving dinner with my husband and children, the Lord challenged me to move from a place of simple thankfulness to one of appreciation.

You see, the typical definition of thankful is to be pleased.  Whereas, the definition of appreciation is to show gratitude.

I believe that one of milestones in our walks with Christ is to move from a place of simply being pleased and/or relieved by the blessings and favor He showers on us, to being appreciative – grateful for it all and, dare I say, gleaning a lesson from the good, the bad, the indifferent and the downright ugly.

Yes, I am thankful to God for my family and friends.  For every smile of my children and kiss from my husband.  I’m grateful for our home and all of the material blessings God’s afforded us.  I’m grateful for employment, for passion and a vision to fulfill the purpose God has created and is calling me to fulfill.

But I appreciate every disagreement I have with my husband because it challenges me to grow in love.

I appreciate every tear and tantrum from my children because it demands I walk in patience.

I appreciate every time my bank account was empty or even (dare I be real?) overdrawn, because it forced me to learn better stewardship and reminded me of my true Source.

I appreciate every person who told me I wasn’t good enough, because it demanded that I return to what God told me to do.

I appreciate every setback, every hurry-up-and-wait on the road to this season in my career, because it taught to me to trust God’s plan.

I appreciate every negative word spoken about me and/or to me, because it meant I had to rely on who God says I am.

I appreciate every phone call I made that went unanswered, because it challenged me to call on the Lord.

I appreciate every difficult decision and mistake that I’ve made, because they forced me to seek God and His plan for me.

Why, you ask?  How is that so?  How can I be equally grateful for the “good” and the “bad”?

Well, because for me, this time, living in this season of thankful appreciation, is a confirmation of what the word says in Roman 8:28 (NIV):

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Know this.  I can’t speak for you.  And I am by no means knocking your thankfulness but I am challenging you to look thank about being thankful in a broader sense.

Aggressively find your silver lining.  Proactively seek out the blessing in your mess.

Not simply because it’s a good habit or because it will grow your faith, but because I believe this is how God has called us to live; this is how we exemplify that we are in this world but not of it.  Through out outlook, our perspective.

As the holiday season continues, I pray that you will continue to be shown reasons to be both thankful and appreciative, and that you bless God for them both.

Meditate on this…

YouTube video courtesy of Gregory Slack